This post might be one of my most controversial posts so far. It’s a post which I have been contemplating writing for some time. You may disagree with this post if you so wish, but whether you agree or disagree will not take away the fact of the truth which is in this post. If this post offends anyone, then it has certainly done its job and that is for you to question the beliefs you may have about your life or life in general.
It’s become more and more apparent in recent times that people are just not equipped to deal with hardship or with life in general. People go through their lives happily avoiding blame for any of their problems, by blaming circumstances outside of themselves. This tends to raise its head when people give us their reasons for why they are the way they are or the reasons people give us for why they do what they do. Society through our schooling, media and even parental skills has painted a false picture for what it really requires to be in full control of your life.
People are taught to not be too harsh on themselves and are lead to believe that the reasons why they have not become successful or for why the have became addicted to substance abuse is due to external circumstances. Circumstances beyond their control. Now before you start shouting at your screen saying but there are circumstances which we have no control. I will agree 100 percent with you. But what we choose to do regarding those circumstances is entirely up to us. No one else made you react in that way, whether it was good or bad.
Now I know there are those who have a harder time than some. Some use that as an excuse as to why they do what they do, as if it’s in no way their fault. How disempowering a life that is. He/she said this to me, so that is why I am the way I am. Wake up, you are the way you are because you reacted the way you did. You chose to react when you could have chosen to respond. To react is immature, but to respond is how adults should chose to deal with circumstances.
Reacting is acting out your emotions without thinking. Responding is thinking logically and then taking action or no action. One is disempowering and the other is empowering. People act out on their emotions for the quick fix with little or no thought on what their decided actions will do to themselves or other people in the future. Then the same people turn round and blame their circumstances and they fall into a viscous cycle.
I know this may sound harsh especially if you or a loved one has fallen into this victimised state. But the only way you or anyone can get out of this cycle is if you take responsibility for your lives by becoming mature and choosing to respond to challenging circumstances in your lives.
I believe that this sort of stuff should be taught in school. In school everyone seems to be a winner. For example in primary school during sports day everyone who has taking part is a winner. But when in their adult lives can they just take part and win? When doing the Lottery??? I know they are just young kids, but is that not the best time to teach someone the lesson of life? During what can be referred to as the sponge phase.
Is it not time to start teaching those who have fallen into this mental trap, what it takes to become a mature adult? Someone who is controlled by himself/herself and not by circumstances out from their control? I know what route in life I’d rather take. I hope you will follow me and start building a world where adults become adults. A world where we become the author of our own story.